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Jason - I have been reading (at times skip reading, I admit) each week portion...

As it happens, I am getting to be addicted, actually. Thanks for your hard work - instead of a coffee, can I buy you a vino? Many thanks and have a lovely Sunday! x

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Addicted? Excellent! Welcome the the numberless legions if addicted Crime & Psychology fans who can never wait for their next fix! Vino is equally as good as coffee, of course, & on occasion even better, so, yes, why not. I may even update the link to say something like ‘but me something to drink, upper or downer…’

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Good to hear from you again Jason and sorry to hear that your voice is still playing up. As you can imagine autotext prefers your vice playing up but I'm not going to go with that.

Do reach out if you want your voice over done in a faux Belfast or Belgrade accent, I can even do them so that there is a difference between the two if only a small one. Roman graffiti is an uncomfortable topic on the best of days, very likely to bring on a slew of Monty Python comments. But first thing first. Books. Long ones.

Literature

Good points. I was going to tell you the title of the longest novel I've read but I'm not sure. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt definitely feels like the longest book ever, nearly 800 pages of nil of notice so far as I'm concerned. Ulysses was a bit shorter and marginally more exciting. As I write this it's becoming clear to me that I'm revealing to all your good readers that I'm someone who reads more for entertainment than for clever experimental style or playful character naming. Put a single Del Capslock or Paige Turner in there and I will not be going near your books again.

Should anyone?

Comics

Very droll and verbose was Batman in his early days. Superman was essentially the same. Are they trying to make the distinction clearer do you think?

Jury Trials

Guilty of 34 counts of the same crime. Only in America. Umberto Eco was sceptical of the inability of Americans to make a choice of dinner let alone indictments. Didn't he object to the concept of surf and turf and rightly so. Why should you be made to make a choice between lobster and beef? Why shouldn't you? It might have been simpler to stick to a single indictment rather than test the hypothesis 34 times but there we go. Felony it is.

Film

Sign me up. I for one am keen so long as any trace of Mad Max has been forensically cleansed. Finally a film in the series that one can thoroughly enjoy almost as much as the upcoming Bond-less James Bond.

Graffiti

It does beg belief that the Romans no longer drag political opponents around the city holding them by their ears to correct the Latin grammar of their graffiti. Is it to do with hen parties from Dumfries going on prosecco fueled graffiti missions in the eternal city? If you snapped a few examples I'd be happy to contribute to the analysis of provenance if you like. I think we can hold Ryanair more than a little responsible. Incidentally End Genocide Now may indeed be a threat against a young lady from Dumfries of the same name.

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Many thanks as ever for taking the time to comment on my Substack! You know - and this is odd - I hadn't even noticed the Monty Python connection. Clearly there were too many things on my mind. Figuring out which was the longest novel I'd ever read was one of them. Ulysses is certainly one of them, or seemed like it. Of The Goldfinch seems longer than that, I'll definitely give it a miss. Actually, I read The Little Friend a while back and suspect I'll give Donna Tartt a miss anyway. BY the time I finish it, Infinite Jest may turn out to be the longest, but presently the title is help by Norman Mailer's Harlot's Ghost, which does go on forever, but is a lot more entertaining than Ulysses. Martin Amis pointed out that only one thing happens in Ulysses - two blokes meet. A lot doesn't happen before that, right enough.

Batman has lost any verbosity he may have had. He has been through a lot of incarnations in his time, (I just finished a book on Batman history) but the present one is doubtless the grimmest. Superman is much sunnier of course but has always presented the scriptwriters with the problem of what to do with a character who is already the most powerful in the world. How can you realistically put him in jeopardy? Hence the silly whimsical side of Superman, I suppose. On the topic of superheroes, your idea of a Bond-less James Bond may not be so far of the mark, if Hollywood rumours are to be believed. At one point apparently Blade was down to fifth lead in the upcoming Blade movie.

It's interesting to think of a jury trial as hypothesis testing. What's the p value after 34 counts? I'll work it out one day if I have a morning to spare!

My brother and I were lamenting the influence of RyanAir as we struggled to get into the sights around Rome. I know that cheap travel has been a boon in some ways, but certain places are no longer worth going to, at least at certain times of year. There are simply too many people everywhere. You can understand why Amsterdam and Barcelona have restricted visitor numbers. On the other hand, doesn't seem very democratic, does it?

My voice is nearly back to normal, thank you for your concern! On the other hand, a lot of readers have requested a more Belgrade-type quality to the voice-overs. I've lost count of the e-mails and shall certainly be in touch...

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I’m always put off by those doorstop novels, although I certainly own enough of them. I made it through Karamazov, still one of my favorite books. But back then i had a good reason to focus on a big book like that— blowing off school work.

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